Despite my best efforts, my constant pestering, my contacting everyone I could I still arrived in Lille knowing next to nothing! Add this to the fact that I hadn’t really accepted that I was coming, and I hadn’t really prepared, and it’s a recipe for disaster!
For future reference- organise things in advance (but how organised can you be?), I did sort out money, insurance, getting here but it wasn’t until last Monday (5 days ago) that I even found out where I was living! It’s La Résidence Boucher, by the way.
So, I arrive, I get through the cryptic world of administration with relative ease- welcome desk- secretary- welcome desk- key, my room is simply a room- 9 square metres of peeling paint, damp stained walls and cold floor but it’s mine. It’s not so bad, I have a bed, wardrobe, sink, hob, fridge… The bathroom is next door, not a problem! The internet was simple too, wireless server and a monthly connection fee of twenty euros.
Still I have no information; where is the laundry? Is there a common room? A French lady came in and started going on about maintenance, cleaning, tidying, showering… I was too tired to take it in, too bewildered, what do I do now?, I was thinking. How can I live here; I don’t have a washing machine (!), how does the internet work and I can’t speak French! Sheer panic, tears, and an ultimate desire to leave.
Luckily my parents drove me here, they helped me move in and are here until Monday so on the first day we went into Lille-centre which I didn’t really take it but it helped me acclimatise.
I really did want to leave, it was sheer panic at the shock of being here and having to fend for myself, I surprised myself because I’m not normally like this, I’m usually very blasé and even if I feel uncomfortable I pretend I’m not because I hate failing or giving up. I wanted to give up but I knew I couldn’t because I’m too stubborn.
Dinner and beer made things better, we hadn’t eaten all day, hadn’t really stopped to think about anything, I think the tiredness and nerves just got to me and culminated in complete disarray!
Hopefully today I’ll learn something about why I’m here, what I’m doing, where I’m going… Right now I feel lost and alone and very small- I know we’re meant to fend for ourselves but this is ridiculous, the administration here has been a bit of a disaster and I do want to find out if it was just me with problems or if there is just a lack of communication.
Hopefully my next entry won’t be as confusing or off-putting- the truth is you never know what will happen.
Until next time….