My name is Maxine, I am 19 years old and I am a student at Edinburgh University reading German.
As of the 16th of September I will be studying in Vienna, Austria until June 2009.
I feel as though I have said the above repeatedly to friends and family ever since I found out that I had a place at the University of Vienna. They all respond in the same excited manner, telling me how lucky I am and how terribly excited I must be. To which I reply with a smile and a nod and proceed to swiftly change the subject.
Please don't get me wrong. I am not an ungrateful, negative person. In fact I personally have responded to the news that various friends will be studying in France and Australia in the same excited manner. For me, it simply hasn't sunk in yet.
Since I've arrived back home this summer, my mum has been nagging me to organise accommodation, flights, banks, insurance and all of those other annoying little things which remind you that you're not just going on a little holiday. Today, I had to transfer the deposit for halls and it hit me (better late than never) that I would actually be living there. It's a scary thought.
I think what scares me most of all is having to do everything you normally do in German. As a child I was painfully shy and although I managed to overcome this before leaving school; I still have moments of crippling shyness in certain social situations with people I don't know, when as each moment passes it makes it more and more difficult to open my mouth and say something; anything. Your own silence magnifies itself until, for you, it's the biggest thing in the room and you're sure that everyone notices that you haven't said anything witty in the past five minutes. I am so scared of not being able to think of anything to say in German and going unnoticed and friendless for the entire year. I know it's a common fear among all students going abroad but I think not being fluent in the language makes it all the more daunting.
This would appear to have turned into a rather negative outlook on my year abroad, which I promise you is not my overall opinion of it. I am extremely happy to be going to Vienna – it was my first choice and although I've never visited there, I can see from pictures that it is my kind of city, with beautiful architecture and a rich history and culture, very much like Edinburgh. I am also very excited about being able to come home this time next year and be completely fluent in another language. Personally, this is what it's all about it. The experience and the independence I will inevitably gain will be an added bonus. I am looking forward to being able to travel around Europe; visiting my friends who are studying in France and our proposed end of year tour through various countries.
When I try to gauge my own feelings beyond the nerves, apprehension and general stress which comes with trying to organise a move to a foreign country I know that I am excited and I know that this is going to an amazing year and an amazing opportunity which, as everyone says, I am extremely lucky to be able to have.

